Creating Traditions

When I first became a Mom I was so excited and obsessed with starting traditions in my own family.  I thought I would create some amazing happy memories with my own kids and I was over the top excited especially about the holidays!

Soon I came to realize that little kids can't really help with a lot of the ideas I have like decorating, making pumpkin pie from scratch, and even down to carving pumpkins, all the work came down on me as soon as they realized that their hands were going to get goopy!  Now traditions went from fun to work for me.

As the holidays approached this year I almost started to dread having to do this work since now I have three children including a 7 month old who NEVER wants to be put down!

In the store one day Connor pointed out the pie pumpkins and said, oh Mom!  We need to make pumpkin pie.  Reluctantly I grabbed three pumpkins for them (only 70 cents) and put them in the cart.  I couldn't believe he even remembered.  Usually he doesn't even participate in making the pies.

The day finally came where I had to either make the pie or the pumpkins were going to rot.  Connor was overjoyed when I asked him to come help me.  Soon I realized a 6 year old is actually helpful more than a hindrance   After I got the pumpkins opened he scooped the goop out no problem!  He placed the seeds in a bowl of salt water and was really excited to try baked pumpkin seeds.  Soon the pies were done, and I realized...wow...I'm so glad I started these traditions when they were young because now they are getting easier and it's something they will remember from when they were really small.

I had to remind myself when we went to the pumpkin patch this year.  I went without Brian, drove 60 miles round trip so they could pick a pumpkin out of the patch.  By the end I was holding Maya and hauling over 80 pounds of pumpkin and Aaron in a radio flyer over rough dirt terrain.  But hey...It made for good Christmas card pictures and I have to keep reminding myself, in a few short years it won't be so hard.  Traditions and memories are worth the pain!

My Drama King...

Aaron has always been my loving little boy.  I can't count how many times he says, "I love you so much Mom" in a day.  He's so animated, articulate, and such a sweet kid most of the time.  He really can melt anyone's heart that he comes in contact with.

With that comes the flip side to the coin as well.  He's always been very dramatic and can say things that hurt my feelings very deeply.  Things like:

"You're breaking my heart Mom"

"My heart really wants Video Games"

"Nobody loves me"

"I'm just a bad boy"

I feel so guilty as a mom because I can only deduce that he really feels like this because of the way I'm treating him.  When I was a kid I really felt this way sometimes.  I look at how I treat him though, and I just don't understand where he's getting it from.  If he does 1 thing that I need to correct it's the end of the world.

Lately he hasn't been going to school as well, so in order to get him to go to school I did three things.  1st I drew hearts on his hands after reading the kissing hand.  That way he knows that I was coming back for him if he got sad.  Then we started giving him smiley faces in the morning for everything he did right.  This helps when he says, "I'm always bad" and "Nobody loves me" I can show him the chart and say look how good you were this morning!  This really helped him make a turn for the better.  He realized when he did one thing wrong, 99% of the time he was a good boy!!  Then we made a star chart.  For every time he went to school without crying he gets a star.  After 10 stars he gets a prize.  He loves this too!

Now we only have meltdowns rarely.  He still wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, but at least he's learning how to become a well behaved and happy little boy.