It finally happened...

We were driving to school this morning, and Aaron was being his normal loud self. Connor was upset about going to school - of course he always makes a complete turnaround when we walk in the door - but at this specific point in time he was not happy. He wanted to stay home and ride his bike outside. It's a particularly beautiful morning in the high 70's here, so that sounded pretty tempting to me as well, but we have responsibilities and this morning it was making it to class on time.

So, as I mentioned earlier, Aaron was being LOUD. Screaming a little even, and Connor didn't have the patience for it. The last thing I remember was that Connor was looking out the window then I heard it...the thing that all parents dread...

Connor turned to Aaron and shouted, "SHUT UP Aaron!!"

My sweet, polite, and perfect 4 year old said his first (drumroll please) BAD WORDS : (. True, I would like to yell these words at both of my kids at times - especially when the screaming has lasted all day long and I just want some PEACE - but I have always tried to set a good example thinking that it would rub off on my kids. My tone sometimes turns into a yell, but I have never lost it and told either of my kids to shut up. Where have I gone wrong?

Now I know this might not even be considered bad words, and maybe I'm over-reacting, but I began to rack my brain of where he could have learned this from. After explaining that there are better ways to get Aaron to be quiet I started asking him where he heard those words from. He had just watched Madagascar this morning, so I am assuming that this must be it. Although, I think that they might say it once in Toy Story...

That movie is rated G ...

I guess SHUT UP is not really BAD words, and it could have been much worse. I think mainly it was the rudeness, that I have never seen come out of him that shocked me the most.

I remember in my own life experiencing this exact situation with both of my parents, and thought back to how they handled the situation with me. I once learned some "bad words" in a movie called "Beverly Hills Troop" when I was a kid (I LOVED that movie). My dad was talking badly about someone while I was in the room.

After a pause in the conversation I just blurted out, "Yeah - screw him!!"

Not even knowing what I was talking about. My Dad always had a good way of keeping calm when something surprised him, and he knew that I didn't really mean it. He explained to me how this was not something you say, even to someone you might not like. It's very harsh, and rude to say that.

My Mom, on the other hand, had a different technique when dealing with those little "surprises". I remember when I was young LOVING Goonies. I would watch it all the time. My friend across the street was a little devious, and she had convinced me that they put up their middle fingers in it. (Note: I have since watched that movie a gazillon times and I have never seen a flip off in it). She told me that this must be like a secret "handshake" and we would flip each other the bird every time we saw each other (ok - I was REALLY gullible as a kid - I think she had a bet with her older brother to see if I would actually go along with it). Anyway, I decided to show my Mom our secret "handshake" one day, but I decided the best time was in church. Oh yes - I flipped my mom off in church! She was HORRIFIED. She scared me out of doing it ever again.

She didn't really explain the situation like my dad did, at least when I was little. When someone called me a lesbian for holding my best friends hand in 5th grade, I remember my dad sitting me down in Denny's for a heart-to-heart chat about what being gay was. When I mis-pronounced the word Prix my mom shocked the pronunciation out of me, but I guess explaining why would have been a little difficult with a little one. I probably would have done the same thing.

After being shocked and telling Connor not to say that to his brother like my Mom did with us, I then took the same approach as my Dad did with me. I calmed down and explained that he is a polite person, and that is not a nice way of asking someone to be quiet. We practiced different polite ways of saying "Be Quiet" to Aaron.

I'm sure we will run across it again, and this is the first of many "surprises" in store for me. Normally I am very impressed with both my boys character already. Even Aaron is very polite saying Please and Thank you at 2. I couldn't be a prouder parent of my polite little boys!