Growing up

Kid grow up so fast.  That's what they all tell us right?  Now Connor is in 1st grade and as a mother I can only hope that my not-so-much a baby any more will start out into the world on his own in a positive way.  After years of protecting my child now I have to start letting go of control.  I worry a lot about how mean people can be, and only hope that he can keep coming to me when something goes wrong in his life.  I know I'm never going to be perfect, but I hope I can always be there for my children.

I think the thing I most hope for when raising children is that they can be great people and that others can recognize that.  Of course I think the world of my children, but will others?  Most likely no one (except who they marry someday) will ever see my child on the pedestal that I have placed them.  I only hope that someone doesn't knock them off.

Recently I was forced to think about this because when I picked up Connor from school he came running out into my arms.  He showed me the manila folder in his hands and said, "Mom I got Student of the Month".  Emotion took over and I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.  Why?  I kept thinking... Why am I so emotional about this???

Years and years I had thought about how I wanted to raise my children.  Ways that I wanted to discipline and to reward.  Ways that I wanted to teach them to be great, selfless people with a great feeling of self-worth.  I never knew if I would ever get it right.  In fact,, I thought maybe there's never going to be a child who doesn't at times hate their parents.  But this first glimmer of hope gave me the re-assurance that MAYBE I could parent right, and MAYBE others could see that portrayed through my son.